Comedy Short Stories

Drinking the Sweet Toothed Substance (East Field)

          My stomachs growled and woke me from my slumber. As I looked around I couldn't remember where I was at. The tall field grass obscured my vision so I got to my hoofs and started meandering. I soon realized that my senses were not working as I was meandering in large circles. This seemed funny to me and I chuckled as I continued my random movements. This odd behavior lasted for some time and only ended when it wasn't funny anymore.

          The bright orb was rising into the sky and I knew that finding the other Borden's in the field would be a challenge. Our dream time location moved every white face time so that we stayed nearest to the fields special energy. If anyone got separated from the others we would meet up at the great silver box where the bipeds removed our dark substance. I looked around the field to get my bearings and headed towards what I thought was the dream time location. After several more repetitive circles I meandered to the wooden border and realized it was hopeless.

          The bright orb was high in the sky when it was time to meander to the great silver box and provide my gift to the bipeds. When I arrived at the great silver box there were no Borden's or bipeds around so I lied down close and waited for their arrival.

          I could hear the Borden's meandering near me and the bipeds were opening the great silver box for them. I got to my hoofs and watched for a moment as they moved up the silver hill to provide their gift. I followed the last Borden into the great silver box and into my small border. The bipeds connected the snakelike connector to my belly and thankfully the pain was lessoned by the huge amount of magic haze I had consumed the prior white face time.

          I was thankful for the gift to be complete and the coolness of the air from the white face time was an added treat. This put me in a better mood as I meandered to the holy place to consume the coocoo beans. All of the Borden's enjoyed the after gift coocoo bean's where we could stuff all our stomachs. There were always stories around the coocoo beans about things that had happened during prior frozen ice times. We enjoyed each other's company with the addictiveness of the coocoo bean until the bipeds would stop us eating and move us to our dream time location. My mother told me that the bipeds would only allow us to consume so many of the coocoo beans as it would ruin our dark substance.

          When we reached the dream time location the bipeds would already have the burning ground created. The many frozen ice time Borden's would then place the best dried field grass in the burning ground. This was another favorite white face time activity as the smoke from the dried field grass or magic haze relieved our pain and fears by putting us in a state of euphoria.

          The bright orb light broke through my closed eyes and interrupted my dream time. I raised my heavy head from the ground and there were many Borden's still in dream time. I did an internal celebration as I didn't wonder off from the dream time location when the magic haze filled my head. I slowly got to my hoofs and swayed as my head was still full of the magic haze. I tried to shake my head back and forth to clear my mind but didn't have any success. I then put my head on the ground and rubbed it back and forth in the cool field grass which cleared my head enough to function. I wasn't able to meander quickly to the food but I did make it there over a longer period of time.

          The bipeds connected the snakelike connector to my belly and the cool air of the great silver box helped sooth the pain. The bipeds hovered around us looking amused as they gestured and spoke something to one another. To me they are just silly two legged creatures that provide us food every bright orb. The gift time seemed to last longer than normal and I was able to drift into dream time. I saw myself gliding through the sky on the wings of the magic haze. The other Borden's remained on all hoofs and their eyes were transfixed on my brilliant sky gymnastics. Even the bipeds seemed impressed by my abilities and they smacked their hoof-less nubs together making irritating rackets. It seemed almost on queue that my dream time was interrupted as the biped's removed the snakelike connector from my belly and pushed me from the small border.

          The Borden's began to move out of the great silver box which caused a swaying from one side to the other. The swaying was in unison with the hoof steps of the Borden's as they departed down the silver hill. I began to sway with the great silver box and then fell flat on my side causing a great laughter from the Borden's. The excited laughter lasted for some time and one of the many frozen ice time Borden's helped me to my hoofs. My laughter didn't falter until I reached the coocoo beans and began consuming them. The coocoo beans were exceptionally well flavored this white faced time and they moved down my throat and into my stomachs with ease. I soon found myself on my back with my head stuck in the coocoo bean bush consuming as quickly as I could. The bipeds soon moved us out and into our dream time location where the burning ground was ready for us. The magic haze soon overtook my mind and I relaxed with all the other Borden's as we slipped into dream time.

          The bright orb was high in the sky when I woke from dream time. As my mind started to function there was a lingering question from the prior white face time that had surely been influenced by the magic haze. I wondered what happened with all of our dark substance gifts to the bipeds. I desperately wanted to now the answer but there was only one Borden that would know and she was banished from the field many frozen ice times ago. I wondered if I could locate her in the vastness of our field to get an answer and see my mother again.

          My gift to the bipeds went as scheduled the next bright orb as I secretly planned a search for my mother. I wondered what the best approach would be to locate her and if I should ask any of the other Borden's to help. This option of assistance turned out to be bad as she had been exiled and anyone caught looking or helping her would be punished harshly. I decided that a secret search party of one would be used to complete the mission.

          The next burning orb was when I set out to find my mother in the vastness of our field. I would start by heading directly towards the burning orb until I reached the wooden border. This meander took quite some time and when I reached the wooden border there was no sign of her. I was disappointed about not finding any signs of her but there was always the next burning orb. I meandered my way back to the dream time location and followed the other Borden's to the great silver ox for the biped's gift.

      and;    I woke from the dream time and quickly got to my hoofs in eager anticipation of searching a different part of the field. I meandered in a different direction so that the bright orb was to my back. This journey didn't take long as I was soon face to face with the wooden border. I turned and meandered back to the dream time location and since the bright orb was still low in the sky I set up in another direction to search.

          I started to meander into the open field with the bright orb warming the right side of my face. As I meandered further from the dream time location my hoofs began to hurt and something dawned on me. The holy rock where the Borden's burned the dried field grass on special holidays was near. A memory of my mother appeared in my mind and the realization set in as that was the location she had been banished to. I had completely forgotten this fact and I started to laugh aloud as the magic haze would do this from time to time. The many frozen ice time Borden's frequently forgot important events, memories and even when it was time to provide the bright orb gift. That was the main reason why the Borden's shared the dream time location as the bipeds would come and get us if we had forgotten.

          I was so caught up in my newly discovered memories that I walked past the holy rock and my mother. It was her voice that broke me from my thoughts and I meandered back to her. My mother and I embraced and stood on all hoofs staring into each other's eyes. It had been many frozen ice times since we had last seen each other and words didn't seem to be fitting for the moment. My mother broke the silence and asked, "Where you looking for me or did you forget where the dream time location was at?" A smile came across my face and I answered. "I did come looking for you but had forgotten where you were at. The magic haze is powerful and my memories are cloudy at best."

          She looked concerned and asked. "Why were you looking for me? Is everything ok?" I answered her questions with, "Everything is fine but I need to ask you some questions. There is no other Borden I can ask that would know the answer. Will you help me?" My mother shook her head in agreement and said, "Of course I will help you." I was eager to ask the first question and it came out in a rush. "What do the bipeds do with all of our dark substance gifts?" My mother pondered the question for a moment and responded. "You are still as curious as ever so here is the best answer I can give you. The Old One's speak of a shiny silver box on wheels that consume all of our dark substance gifts. It is speculation what happens next but it is believed that the shiny silver boxes on wheels are used for holding and distribution of our dark substance gifts to the bipeds."

          I pondered the answer for some time and asked, "I appreciate you explaining what the Old One's thought and I was hoping that you may know more." My mother responded to my disappointment. "The only way to know for sure is to be adventurous and find out where the gifts go. When you complete your next gift time, sneak off from the other Borden's and meander behind the great silver box. Somewhere behind there will be the answers you are looking for. I'm sorry that I cannot help you any further." She turned and began to meander from our meeting spot when I said. "Where are you going as I want to spend more time with you." She turned back and said. "You are not supposed to be here talking to an exiled Borden. The punishment for this crime is harsh and I don't want you to suffer as I have." Tears flowed from her eyes as I asked the most important question. "Can you tell me why you were banished? The Borden's wouldn't tell me and I have always wondered why they took you away."

          My mother wiped here eyes with her hoof and said. "I was collecting tall field grass near the wooden border with the Holstein's and I came face to face with one of them. I should have turned and meandered away but the Holstein tried to communicate with me. I felt it was time to try and mend what was broken so many frozen ice times ago. Unfortunately I was unable to communicate as I was not versed in their language and we simply talked to each other. When I realized it was a futile effort, I left the wooden border and returned to the dream time location.

          I soon found out that there was another Borden following me to the wooden border and saw the whole interaction with the Holstein. When the other's heard the story I was banished without a trial. I now realize that it was a mistake to have done something so foolish. I paid the ultimate price in losing you forever." Tears were now flowing from both of our eyes.

          We sat on the cool ground for some time just looking at one another when I noticed the burning orb was at the right spot for the donation of the gift. I raised my body from the ground and embraced her one last time. I meandered from the holy rock and gave her one last look and a wide smile. She returned the smile and I meandered quickly towards the great silver box where the Borden's had surely stated.

          The white face was high in the sky and the other Borden's were in dream time when I meandered to the great silver box. I peered around and saw a great silver snakelike connector on the ground heading toward the wooden border. I meandered in the direction of the wooden border using the snakelike connector as a guide. I had never been in this area of the field before as the bipeds would not allow us past them when the bright orb was up. My stomachs felt as if they had moved up into my throat and made me very nervous to meander forward. I reluctantly meandered forward as I had to be courageous for the other Borden's and my mother. As I reached the fence there were many great objects that lurked just outside. There were many large shiny silver boxes on wheels that appeared to be in dream time. The snakelike silver connectors ended in another great silver box that was surrounded by the shiny silver boxes with wheels. I lied down in the tall field grass as it provided me some protection from the gaze of the shiny silver boxes on wheels. I wondered what exactly they were and if they would eventually wake from their dream time and move.

          The white face was sinking out of the sky and the bright orb would soon be rising. I new it was time to leave this part of the field as the bipeds would be here soon. As I stood up on my hoofs and revealed myself from the tall field grass something strange happened. Two bright miniature orbs appeared on the front of one of the shiny silver boxes on wheels. It appeared that the miniature bright orbs were focused on me and I meandered cautiously backwards.

          As I made my slow exit I saw the side of the shiny silver box on wheels open and a biped emerged. This shocking event started to occur with all the shiny silver boxes on wheels and then sounds of bipeds coming towards me emerged. This was all I needed to see and I quickly meandered back to the dream time location and the safety of the other Borden's. Some of them had already risen from dream time and were preparing themselves for the bright orb gift.

          I found myself lying in the coocoo bean patch consuming quickly as the bipeds were pushing us out and into our dream time location. The burning ground was already producing the magic haze and as I found a comfortable spot in the field it reached my nose. As the magic haze clouded my mind I thought of my mother and how proud she would have been of my discovery. This comforting thought left me quickly as the realization of not seeing her again struck me firmly. I was saddened that I would have to live without a mother and continue to provide the dark substance to the bipeds each every bright orb for the rest of my frozen ice times.