Comedy Short Stories

The Empty Page


          You know what I despise? The empty page staring at you when you start writing. I freeze up and have to kick my brain to start. I have heard all kinds of ways to get your brain unstuck. Start the paper off with a question. Honestly? That sucks. How about writing chapter two first? That is all good and well but I still have to write the first chapter. My favorite is throwing down words in a brainstorming session. I guess the theory is you can make a compelling opening out of a bunch of random crap.

          I tried this exercise warming up for this glorious short story. I came up with, A man walks into a bar bathroom, whips out his rope and yellows the urinal. It's a vivid picture for sure but not the most feasible opening of a story. The other was, I was running through a land mine field of old World War II explosives while dodging the doberman steaming land mines. I disliked both brainstorming combinations and decided to write about despising the empty page when starting to write.