Comedy Short Stories

Toenail Lives Matter


          There once was a toenail that lived attached to a toe. The toenail went everywhere the toe ventured. Whether it was in a sock, in a sandal or in a shoe it was always happy. The toenail didn't care for the weekly trimmings but understood the pain was part of the job. It's neighbor was smaller but still important to the other toe. If not for the toenails the soft skin underneath would be unprotected!

          The toenail was happy to be attached to this big toe. It always was a big brother to the other toenails and was quick with good advice. This made the toenail proud of it's role with the left toes. Time passed and the toenail was getting older and the cuticles around it began to fray. It wasn't long after the toenail realized its old age when tragedy struck. A huge sphere fell upon the toenail which caused catastrophic damage. It wasn't long after that the toe began to heat up and throb causing the toenail to agonize and eventually blacken. That was the beginning of the end.

          The toenail knew its time was limited so it passed along all it's knowledge to the toenail next to it. This happened throughout the next several days and nights. The smaller toenail committed everything to memory and vowed to pass along to the smaller toenail next to it. Your name will be part of the toenail legends. The toenail was satisfied with being remembered for it's wisdom and said fair well. It was soon after that the toenail came loose and fell off blackened and leaving the soft toe under it exposed. To this day the toenails remember it fondly and say toenail lives matter in its honor.